My First Post from My Original Blog

Tonight I was inspired to create a Blog.

I have never before thought of actually doing this, but just received an e-mail from my friend Alyssa, who is also the mother of "Three in the Bed". She just started blogging last week and I loved reading her posts. So, here I am. As she also said in her first posting, I hope this is something I can actually keep up on and not let months (or even years) go by without posting anything new. Speaking of, I was the girl who would open up my diary and write 2 pages, close it, open it again 6 months later, write 2 sentences, close it... you get the picture.

If you know me, than you know that I am always extremely busy. If you know me, than you also know that if it has anything to do with my kids, creating memories for my kids, or preserving those memories, than it is on my list of Things To Do that Will Get Done.

So, as I have titled my blog, "Three in the Bed" I suppose I will talk about one of those "Three". Jacob is my oldest and a person that God has put into my life to teach me how to re-learn life. Being the Mother of a boy, especially when I only grew up with sisters, has been a bit challenging for me. Jacob isn't any boy, either. He is an extremely intelligent, diligent, proper, respectful, orderly, and known as a "perfectionist" young man. In so many ways, we differ so much from each other. One morning just a few months ago, I was rushing to get all 3 kids ready for school and trying to leave the house on time. Unfortunately, this was a morning the words "on time" were not going to hold true.

Pulling up to the school 1 minute late, Jacob's eyes teared up.

Me - "Jacob, why are you crying?"
J - "I don't like to be late"
Me - (crushed)
Me - "Jacob, we will be on time from now on"

In this moment, I felt like a was completely failing as a Mom. Yes, this may seem like a simple little thing and to make me feel like a failure? Well, let me preface this all be saying the following. Jacob likes things done correctly. He likes them done when they are supposed to be done and how they are supposed to be done. To him, there is an order that is not to be broken. Me? I am not like any of that. At all. I am a procrastinator. I am constantly not following through with what I start. I am messy.So, back to this "revelation" moment. I am thinking I am not the Mother that Jacob deserves. He deserves a Mom that is ON TOP OF IT and a Mom that is on time and a Mom that has complete structure. Not a Mom like me.

So, I cried. I called Jon. I cried. I called my Mom. I cried some more.

I then realized. I HAVE to learn how to be Jacob's Mom. I have to re-learn life in a completely different light. I HAVE to do this and I HAVE to do this because I adore that little boy. I will learn how to be the person that he needs to have to guide him through his precious beginning.

God is teaching me more about life through this one little boy than I would have ever thought possible. Truly amazing.